a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
what the fuck
She wants the (ph)D
Not with that technique: no gloves, safety glasses, fume hood; the volume in the erlenmeyer flask is not suitable for what the flask allows; and the fumes from the left vessel are dangerously close to her nasal orifice. The only D she is asking for is Disaster.
when your chemistry teacher gives you a bad grade
i went to a new school when i started second grade and i still remember what my parents said to me as they dropped me off on my first day at the new school: “dont do your yoshi impression, it’s weird and you’ll make no friends.”